* Too Busy or Even a Bit Lazy
to Train Your Dog Yourself * Unable to Solve Your Dog's
Annoying Habits on Your Own * Leaving Town for Thanksgiving,
Easter, or Christmas Holiday * In the Process of Moving or
Remodeling Your Home or Yard
Or, Perhaps You
Are...
* Staying at Home
Mom and the Kids Kick Your Butt Like the Dog * Going on Vacation or Have to
Leave Town on a Business Trip * Studying for an Exam - Needing
Surgery or Recovering from One * Disappointed by the Results
You Got from the Previous Trainers...
Then You Should Definitely Consider Our Drop
Off Dog Training.
You Are Probably Wondering..
Why Would My
Dog Listen to "ME" When YOU Were the One that Trained
Him?
!!!
Here's How We
Bust This Myth Once and For All !!!
No dog trainer can argue with the fact that
the most impressively trained dogs in the world
have all been trained by an actual expert first.
If You Don't Believe Us, Just
Think of All Those:
* Dogs for the blind * Therapy and service dogs * Hunting dogs * Search and rescue dogs * Bomb detection dogs and even- * Attack trained dogs
You guessed it. Almost all of these dogs have
been professionally trained in a board and train
fashion by an expert and WITHOUT the owners' involvement.
The owners or the handlers came
in the picture AFTER the dog was completely trained. You may
research this for yourself.
So Why Some Challenge or Even
Doubt Doggie Boot Camps?
Someone might ask you why not train your own dog? The answer
is the same as why bother
hiring an accountant, a mechanic, a contractor or even an
attorney? We do so because:
A- Not all of us know what we the heck we’re doing.
B- Some of us who do know what we’re doing, can’t
make the time for it.
C- We don’t want to do a sloppy job or even worse, mess
everything up even worse.
In other words, we want it done by a real
"professional" and not by some "wannabe!"
Look, training dogs effectively is a rare skill that
not everyone has fully mastered. Noticed, I said, "effectively!"
Just grab your local phone book and flip through its pages.
Unless you live in a very small unknown town, you’ll
find hundreds of doctors, attorneys, plumbers and mechanics
there, but only a very few dog trainers.
I hope I won’t offend any of you here, but any bozo
can teach a dog to sit, roll over, give a paw
and bark for a cookie. I am talking about far more challenging
issues that many of you are
struggling with on a regular basis.
In Our Doggy Boot Camp
-(Small
Breeds and Puppies Get $200 OFF!)
Wouldn't you agree that it is much easier to
stay on top of your dog's training once he is already
trained to your standard?
People ship their dogs to us from all over the country. With
today’s busy lifestyle,
we found that many owners actually prefer the "expert"
do all the hard work for them. Think of it
as getting your home back super clean, or a super shiny car
that has been detailed by a professional. Most of us would
want to keep it that way.
Again, maintenance appeals
to most owners which is why this program is our top and most
popular option. But it is still your dog, your choice, your
headache.
IMPORTANT: We totally
agree with skeptics who preach that YOU, as the owner of your
dog, must be involved in its training every step of the way.
The truth is, you'll find this process far more effective
when you come in the picture at the very "end" of
your dog's training. And we will happily prove this to you.
In fact, once you get your dog back from us
completely trained, that's when all of your doubt, the hassle
and the hard work will be out of the way. Bottom line, our
boot camp gives you a nudge or a jump-start if you will.
Unlike the majority of doggy bootcamps, we accept
puppies from nine-week-old to ten-year-old dogs. So no dog
is too young or too old to learn right from wrong, and what
acceptable behavior is and what isn't. Our drop off training
is a lot like sending your naughty dog or puppy to a charm
school. Please note that our Send Off Dog Training has the
highest demand
Again you get:
* 2 Weeks of Boarding
and Training * Lifetime Free Follow Ups * Unlimited House Calls for Local
Residence
The Cost: $1,700. The Rate for Dogs Over 50 lbs is $1,500 for
Puppies or Small Breeds
If The Price is Too Much to Some of You, Please Read the Following
Thought-Provoking Questions to Help You Decide Smartly.
* Do you want to use your praise
and love or rely on hot dogs, cheese and beef jerky to train? * Would you rather pay less and sacrifice
quality and the guarantee in your training? * Is hiring an real pro who does this
for a living instead of a part-timer or hobbyist important to
you? * Do you rather have the expert to
come to you or drag everyone to some park/some ranch? * Did you know that Kevin is the only
expert in his field in Sac who wrote THE book on the subject? * Is having a dog listen to you from
a distance and eventually off-leash important to you? * Do you care about a lifetime guarantee
or think an eight week class would do it?
Remember, dogs, just like people, aren't always predictable. And
people are known to procrastinate.
So although it doesn't take a lifetime to train a dog, it's still
nice to have it.
Please Read the Following:If you don't care about none of the above issues, then
sure, just about any other dog trainer or dog school will do.
It's like going to a Ferarri dealer and haggling with the salesman
by saying, "Come on man, help me out here." Hello? It's
a Ferarri. When people get a Ferarri or a Lambo, they know how
stunning they'll look driving it.
You won't become a smooth or skilled dog owner by working with
just ANY trainer. When you are walking your dog right now and
he spots another dog or a cat, does he flip out? Let me guess.
You've worked with some trainer that gave you a sweet deal to
train your dog. Well, your dog doesn't look so sweet when he embarrasses
you like that out in public now, does he?
Again, if you are looking for "best deal" in town that's
not us--the "Best service," absolutely! We take pride
in our training and deliver eyebrow raising results.
Here's One Last Question: If Every Dog
School Had the Same Price, Which Would
You Choose and Why? See? We've Done Our Homework and What Else
is Out Others!
Unless you have an aggressive or red zone dog, the
price WILL NOT gove over seventeen hundred. Additional days can
also be added upon your request for a daily boarding fee. If your
dog happens to be very protective or worse, aggressive toward
other dogs, people, kids, or even bit you or someone else, the
cost will be thousand per week, which stops at 2,000.
IMPORTANT: You get a two hundred
dollar discount with small dogs and puppies under 30 pounds. The
cost wouldIequire a $500 nonrefundble deposit in order to reserve
your spot.)
These Dogs Usually Require More Training/rehabilition
and Therefore Cost More to Train than Your Typical dog. If You
Are Not Sure, Please Call so We Can Determine Whether Your Dog
Does Fall Under This Category or Not.
Just Imagine to Finally Be Able
to Stop Your Dog's...
Play-biting
Jumping Up
Barking Nonstop
Counter Surfing/Stealing Food
Bolting Out
Leash Pulling
Not Coming When Called
Perhaps You Are Just Sick of Your Dog...
Chasing and Terrorizing Your Poor Cat
Marking Inappropriately or to Get it House Trained
Serious Aggression Toward Men, Kids or Your Other Dog
Crotch Sniffing, Butt Sniffing or Humping Your Poor Guests
You Really DO NOT Have to Train Your Dog by...
Raising Your Voice, Repeating His Name or Snapping Your Finger
Depending on Treats or to "Pretend" You Are Holding
Some Sort of Treats
Getting Physical/Abusive - NO Need to Swat, Hit or Slam Your Dog
on its Back
Doggie boot camp is the same as drop off dog training
or send your dog away to be trained. This is a wise choice if
you are too busy or rather have an expert do all the hard work
for you. Once you try our board and train option, you'll be convinced.
Dog camps might have a bad reputation but ours is designed for
your puppy or adult dogs. And it is a boot camp, without the boot.
If you want to send your dog away to be trained, our boarding
and training just makes sense for majority of owners. Compare
us to other send your dog off to be trained and you'll agree that
our dog training camp is one of its kind. Doggy boot camp shouldn't
be a place to abuse a dog or to break their spirits. But sadly,
many think of dog board and train programs as a place where dogs
turn into soldiers. That is not the case with us at all. We just
make well-behaved models. Think of it as doggy charm school.
Bust One of the "Biggest Myths" about Boot Camps!
Click on the Speaker Image and Listen Closely!
IMPORTANT: Our Drop Off Dog Training Where Your Dog Stay Over
with Us, Has the Highest Demand and is Our Most Popular Choice.
To Guarantee Your Reservation and the Starting Date of Your Choice,
it is Our Policy to Collect a $500 Deposit and Pay the Remaining
Balance Upon Your Arrival or Once You Drop/Ship Your Pooch to
Us. Thank You.
Let's Think of the Dog Whisperer
Cesar Millan For a Moment.
He Takes Dogs in His Camp All the Time
You most likely know of his show: He calls it dogs in rehab. Call it rehab or boot camp, it's the same concept. Just like playing sports, learning to play a music instrument or losing weight, as long as you stay consistent with the program and you obviously will HAVE our full support, your dog WILL remain trained and well-mannered for life. We give you a written guarantee on it.
* * * * Presidential
Treatment * * *
V.I.P. Program For Those of You Who Don't Mind Paying More!
You Deal Strictly with Our Best and Top Trainer,
Kevin "The Dog Prodigy" Himself. Plain and Simple!!!
You Get All These:
* Have Kevin Fly to Your Town for Three Days ( Total of Six Lessons)
* 2 Weeks of Board & Train Personally All of Your Lessons
with Kevin.
* All of Your Current and Future Lessons with Kevin and NOT His Trainers.
* All of Your Calls and e-Mails Will Be Answered by the Dog Prodigy Himself.
* Automatic Membership to All of His Future DVD's, Books and Audio CD's.
* Have the Rights to Video Tape One or All of Training Sessions.
* His Book Personally Autographed to You.
* Have Access to His Cell Phone Number For Any of Your Current or Future.
The only thing you can't do and wished you could... is to literally adopt Kevin. :-) But just like most things in life, the best, always costs the most. It is so true when they say, "You get what you pay for and it's no different when it comes to training your dog by one of the best in the industry." Read some of Kevin's book on this site, watch him in action in his video clips, and even talk to some of his references and you'll agree you'll get one of the top in the business. Cost: $5,000.
!!! CONSUMER ALERT - BUYER BEWARE !!!
Be especially leery of trainers who refuse to give you any references. You can bet your dog's life that this is a red flag. Think about it, if they are proud of their training method and work ethics with their clients, then they should have no problem giving you a few names and there will be NOTHING to hide. This is especially important if they don't even have any group classes for you to observe. Your wallet, your dog and your precious time's depending on it. No matter how impressive their web sites seem or how convincing they may sound on the phone, don't skip this. You won't regret it. If someone's happy with you, then they won't mind bragging about you. Isn't this true with everything in life?
Please Don't Yell, Hit, or Get Rid of Your Poor Dog. Let
Me Help You Train it. --Kevin
Say Goodbye to All of These Annoying Bad Habits:
Housetraining or in Some Cases, Re-Housetraining Your Dog
(Value: No more wrinkle noses, scrubbing, or thinking of replacing the carpet )
Ahhhhhhhhhh. Imagine walking in your clean house that doesn’t smell like your dog’s poop and pee anymore. No more arguments on why you got a puppy, or who should/shouldn’t clean up after the dog. You’ll know whether your dog’s marking, whether it's confused, suffers from a urinary infection, or knows exactly what’s going on, but simply doesn’t care and wants mommy to clean up after it, for rest of its life. Owning a dog should be a joy, NOT you becoming its slave.
What makes you frustrated even more, is dogs usually do it more on a rug or carpet. You can almost hear your dog laughing as it eliminates saying: “Here clean this. Scrub that carpet woman. Scrub it. That’s right. Clean up after me.”
I’ve seen dogs literally walk across the wooden floor and the marble, and pee right on the carpet or worse, on your favorite Persian rug. Don’t you hate that? We’ll say goodbye to those days as I will show you exactly what you are doing right and what you are doing wrong to fully housebreak your dog.
Nipping and Mouthing: Put an End to Your Dog’s Play-biting and Licking
(Value: NO more bruises, no more scratches, no more dog spits, AND--no more pain)
Shoving your finger down your dog's throat, saying OUCH, or yelping like a wussy puppy doesn't work. Replacing your hand with a toy also has short-term effects. Your dog will get bored of the toy very fast and would want to use YOU as a chew toy instead. Is that wrong? After all, you are more animated, soft, warm, and have different yelps every time. And your dog just loves it.
Let me show you how to stop this, before it gets completely out of hand. You will not have to slam your dog on its back, or even swat it in the face or anywhere else. This makes your dog afraid of you and most importantly, it will make it hand-shy. Always use your hands for loving and praise and not for punishment.
Whether your dog’s constantly nipping at you to play or to get your attention, it should stop immediately.
Jumping Up: Stop it on You, Your Visitors, on Kids and on Glass Doors
(Value: No more getting scratched up or dirty or keeping your dog away from guests)
You can turn your back, cross your arms and ignore your dog by standing still, or even keep kneeing it in the chest, hoping it gets the point. All these methods stop working. You may also ask your dog to sit for you, but the minute you say OK, your dog will knock you down like an old blanket all over again.
You can knee your dog, but unless you are Bruce Lee or about to compete in a kickboxing competition, you can knee it until your skirt or pants rip, but your dog will keep on jumping on you, again and again, thinking it's a game.
Scratching Doors, Whining, and Control Your Dog's Separation Anxiety
(Value: your door, your glass/screen door, and not to forget--your sanity )
I'll outline a step-by-step program on how you can have your dog accept your absence, without any barking, whining or throwing a tantrum. As much as dogs were born to be a pack animal, they can still be taught to be independent. You don't want a dog following your room to room like your shadow day and night. Doesn't that feel more like a stalker rather than a pet?? You should be able to have some peace and quiet when you want to. If not, then keep getting stalked. It's your choice.
Chewing and Digging: End Your Dog's Destructiveness Once and For All
(Value: Oh come on. You know how much you've paid for those items and that furniture)
Learn all about why your dog chews on inappropriate items, digs holes in your yard and how to prevent it. Some owners hope that their dog will just grow out of it. Yeah. That's when you grow out of your bank account, trying to keep on fixing and buying new stuff. Some adult dogs are known to still chew on inappropriate things. The reasons are: Boredom, Curiosity, or when your dog's mad at you and tries to get even. Yes. Dogs also hold a grudge.
Barking: Stop and Control it in Your Presence or Absence
(Value: Your eardrums and a fresh start with your angry neighbors)
Stop and control your dog's barking around visitors, the mail carrier, other dogs, cats, the kids, or when you are away. You don’t want an evil or not so bright neighbor of yours do something unimaginable. I’ve heard many horror stories of dog owners ignoring or DENYING that it is their dog with the barking problem, resulting in a disaster. Some got sued by their neighbors. Some found their gate wide open with their dog being gone. And in a worst case scenario, some found the poor dog poisoned. Is your dog’s excessive barking worth his/her life?
You’ll learn exactly how to let your dog know that barking is allowed, but NOT excessively. Bottom line, it should—always—stop when you give your dog the “HUSH” command.
Leash Pulling - Stop that Hacking Noise and Finally Enjoy Your Walk:
(Value: Keep your arm from coming out of its socket and feel the circulation back )
Finally be able to teach your dog walk on a loose leash through the entire walk, and even around distractions. Obviously we’re talking about REAL WORLD distractions such as: other dogs, cats, kids, moving cars, squirrels, and joggers.
Bolting Out the Door and Teaching Boundary and Perimeter Training:
(Value: You won’t have to squeeze through your front door anymore)
You will be able to leave your front door wide open, without constantly reminding yourself, or the rest of your family members to keep the door shut. Your dog will learn to stay and hang out in your front yard. You won’t need to spend hundreds of dollars on a shock collar or an invisible fence.
Not Coming When Called - Come on Command even Around Distractions:
(Value: No more looking funny by yelling and chasing your dog in circles )
Learn how to get your dog to come to you, even when loose and from a distance. This hands down is one of the hardest commands to master. Even dog trainers’ dogs don’t always come to them. You’ll find out why dogs ignore us on come command, and exactly how to get your dog come to you every time.
Growling, Snapping and Lunging Toward Strangers, Dogs and Kids::
(Value: Be able gain control of your dog around these tempting situations)
Whether your dog is being overprotective, aggressive, or it’s giving a warning, you should know how to predict and prevent it from getting worse. This is where a typical obedience trainer’s knowledge and expertise runs out. You definitely need to work with someone who is familiar in handling dog aggressive tendencies and has years of experience dealing with difficult cases. Kevin is one of the few in the industry who welcomes such cases. Others will most likely tell you to put up with it, or put your dog
down.
How Many Dogs Does it Take
to Change a Light Bulb?
Australian Shepherd: Just one. While the rest herd the property for any more light bulbs or even light switches that need to be replaced.
Pit Bull: As long as I'm here, nobody can change ANYTHING. Not as long as I'm around. NO WAY.
Golden Retriever: It doesn't matter. Even if someone breaks in, I will find the flashlight for them and show off all of my toys and will play fetch nonstop. I still got lots of toys that squeak.
Rottweiler: Won't you-- MAKE ME!!!…..Just try it.
Labrador: Oh me, me!!!!! Huh? Huh? Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change it! Can I? Can I? You sure you only want me to change it? Too bad these bulbs float, or else I would even change the ones from way under the pool.
German Shepherd: Roger that. First of all, I need to see if that is truly a light bulb or a bomb. Second, I should check for any intruders still left in the premises. And third, see if they are still around, so I can sink these nice set of canines in that arm and keep on swinging from it. Not really. Any arm will do.
Maltese: Let the German Shepherd do it. Cocky bastard. You can fix my hair. Yes. Of course piggy tail. What else?
Saint Bernard: Man, I still got the hangover from last night and you're worry about a stupid lamp. Look. I threw up a few times and can’t even wipe my own slobber. Those bitches once they're in heat, REALLY know how to party and I got hammered.
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring, check for any hazards, and let you know how long that light bulb will actually last.
Weiner Dog: Yeah right. You know that I can't reach that stupid bulb! Hello? Besides, those big scary dogs just love to floss their teeth with me. And with/without any light they always find me. I guess it's because I just can't shut up. Can I?
Siberian Husky: You mean just yank it out of that ceiling and take off with it for miles without even looking back?
Minature Pincher: Why? I can still bite ankles in the dark.
Jack Russell Terrier: Dude, I have cats to chase, rabbits to hunt, and make my owners catch me if you can game. Besides, I will pop it again with my constant bouncing around anyway.
Bassett Hound: Leave that thing off. I am so tired and sleepy and I love it when it’s dark. Too much light hurts my eyes. Why do you think my eyes are so freaking red all the time? Noooooo. I told you a million times that I DO NOT smoke pot. Gosh!!!. I only slept fifteen hours today and you kept on bugging me. ZZZZZZzzzzzz.z.z.z..z..z..z.
Chow Chow: Nope, don't change that light bulb, don't brush me, don't bathe me, don't medicate me, and don't ever mistake me with a goofy bear.
Poodle: Oh come on. Give me a break. Who wants to mess up the hair for a stupid light bulb? What if the minute I even try to install it, it burns my fro. I mean come on. The fro is back in style and these curls don’t just happen, you know. Did I tell you I just got my nails done at Poodle Nook Salon today?
Lhaso Apso: Why change it? I can still mark every corner of this house blindfolded.
Doberman: Let them break in. I always wait in that corner and never make a sound. By the time they notice me, my teeth will meet their crotch. Then we’ll talk about who’s really going to get neutered tonight. GRRRRRRRRR.
Beagle: Light bulb? I don't sniff any light bulbs? What's the point. I will pop it again with my long barks anyway.
Boxer: Come on dude. Listen to my name.. BOXER? Who needs to change a light bulb when I can just box and knock out the intruder. Once they grab me by the collar, then I'll show you my psycho dance, that is guaranteed to break those fingers.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero TACO BULB?
Pomeranian: Hey, I was a chow in my past life. So don't you dare make me do anything.
Bulldog: No way Jose! Last time I tried that crap, I landed flat on my nose.
Bichon Frisee: Let the bulldog or the pug do it. Cute dogs don't have to work. Besides, all they do is snore and snore alllllllllll night anyway.
Pointer: I see it. There it is. That one right? Yep I see it. There it is. Right there.. hmm.. although it is not moving. I wish they have light bulbs in the jungle. That way I could point out those squirrels even better.
Greyhound: I told you people that I only move off that couch for rabbits! Plain and simple.
Afghan Hound: Light bulb? What? Huh? I'm sorry, what is that? Back in mountains there are no light bulbs. Besides, everybody knows that I don’t need a silly lightbulb to prove how gorgeous I really am.
Written by Kevin Salem - Head Instructor of Sacramento's Real-Life Dog Training.
Mr. Salem has successfully trained over 10,000 dogs nationwide
and is the creator of this award-winning site - Dog Secrets .com.
He wrote this joke about ten years ago. You might have read a
shorter version of it here and there. Some made it shorter and
changed the order of different breeds and their comments, but
once you compare it, you'll notice that they were all originated
from this source. You'll appreciate the same kind of humor throughout
Kevin's book, "Hidden Secrets Behind Dog Training."
A Free Download for Everyone. It is a very funny and smart book.
Dear dog lover,
You are welcome to post this joke on your web site, web log or in any other
my space type account. All I'm asking is to be kind enough to
link it back to Dog Secrets .com. This isn't mandatory, but will greatly be appreciated.
Thanks again for sharing the smile and the love for all the dogs. Kevin Salem
Once Again, For You to Smartly Compare. If You Are...
Too Busy or Too Lazy to Do it All
Worried of Your Dog Getting Even WorseLeaving Town or
Taking Your Dream VacationIn Middle of Moving or Remodeling
Your Home/Yard
Can't Find the Time to Drag Your Dog to Those Group
Classes...
Or, Maybe it Makes More Sense
to You...
To Get Your Dog Trained by a Pro First and THEN Do the
Easier Part
To See How Does Your Dog Acts Around Dogs and Strangers
Without You
To Enjoy a Trained Dog Upon Your Arrival! Not a Dog
that Makes You Suffer Again.
To Make Sure This Time Your Dog Gets Trained Correctly
and Stays Trained for Good!
Watch an Actual Video Demonstration of Our Top
Trainer in Action.
They Say, "Pictures Say a Thousand Words." But Nowadays, Pictures Also LIE!
Just Watch the Clip Above and You'll See What We're Talking About.
!!! Dog Secrets .com !!!
Where You See the Difference Between"Average" and "WOW"!!!
No part of the contents, articles or quotes in this site
shall be used or reproduced in any way, including, but not
limited to Internet forums and web logs without a written
consent from Kevin Salem.
We use state of the art technology on a regular basis to
'crawl' all search engines and directories for violators.
Please don’t risk it. We WILL take full
legal action against you.